My mom told me today that maybe I should just leave Japan and go home …
Maybe it is the right thing to do since everything seems to fall apart here.
Japan is far from paradise you know … It’s becoming hell to me actually … I need to breath, and for sure I need peace .

Anyway thank you mum for telling me that it isn’t my fault. I needed to hear that. Really. I miss you so much you know … I wish I could be with you now. More than anybody else.

Thank you for not even being able to keep your promise and having a nice dinner with me, it was just our birthday, after all, nothing that really matters.
We had a reservation, but this too doesn’t matter right?

What have I become?
What has my life become?

I feel just alone, lost and betrayed.

Thank you for all of this.

I’m going crazy here.
This is beyond everything.
Hate took love’s place.
There is no trust anymore.
Suspicion, lies.
Mind are poisoned.
As are hearts.
There is no way back I think.
We won’t be happy again anymore.
Being together was a mistake, we can’t make it that’s obvious.
I don’t even have strength enough to cry.
My life is a ruin.
I’m not worth anything.
Nobody needs me.
Would be the same if I was not here.
Maybe I should disappear.
Suddenly.
Without a word.
As the ghost I am.